Love dogs enough to leave them alone
Love dogs enough to leave them alone.
Years ago a friend and I were sitting at the mechanics in Christchurch, waiting for my utes brakes to be repaired so we could continue on our road trip. Two young dogs asleep at our feet like the little travel pros they were. This grown ass man walks by, reaches down and almost like he couldn’t physically stop himself - pats my sleeping dog, waking him from his sleep and giving him a heck of a fright. Just… why?
Another time I was out on a hike with a nervous foster dog getting her some exposure. She was wearing a bright yellow coat labelled “NERVOUS” to signal to others that she might need some space. A guy comes marching up, gets right in her face and says “Oh she is beautiful, is her name nervous?”. Meanwhile the dog is halfway up the bank having a meltdown while he continues to dote on her. Completely oblivious.
In the years since I’ve gotten pretty good at advocating for dogs in my care out of necessity, preventing “dog lovers” who can’t help themselves from touching dogs they shouldn’t be. And it’s a skill I recommend every dog owner practice, whether your dog is social or not, letting the dog know there’s no reason to get wound up & that you’ve got this under control. This could be as simple as stepping in front of your dog to create distance between them and the approaching person and saying “No” (a complete sentence!) or “please ignore my dog, we are training”. It’s a skill that can save you a lot of grief on the training front.
Because here’s the thing. A lot of dogs don’t actually find pats from strangers enjoyable. Others may develop a conditioned response of seeing a human and getting over the top excited. Sometimes they’re out training and need to focus on that. And for a lot of owners, being forced into a situation where they have to tell people to back off and leave their reactive/young/training dog alone is really tough & emotionally draining. This isn’t made easier by peoples reactions to this boundary setting sometimes - often offended that they’ve been refused access to something they wanted as though this is about depriving them rather than the dogs feelings, other times blissfully ignorant because “oh it’s fine, I’m a dog person - they love me!”.
If you truly love dogs and want the best for them, please just check in with the owners from a distance before approaching and respect the answer given - both by the owner, and the dog. Regardless of breed, how cute they are, how well behaved they seem, or how much of a dog lover you are and how much you want them to love you. You’ll be helping keep that dog feeling secure, reducing reactivity issues and allowing everyone to enjoy their outing in peace. The dogs and their owners will appreciate it!
